Fixated

i’m quietly at my desk going insane. i am itchy in like, 3 spots on my back. naturally, i can’t reach any of them. i have tried, but it’s not satisfying, awkwardly trying to scratch really hard at a spot 3 cm away from the spot that itches, because i JUST CANT REACH IT.  i’m thisclose to rubbing myself catlike against the corner of the filing cabinet, just to see if i can somehow scratch my back on that.  this post is dedicated to all the stupid backscratchers i’ve seen, laughed at, waved around, and didn’t buy. 

i want to tell you about sink panda.  normally i wouldn’t, but since i’m remodeling my kitchen (i.e. putting myself through a strange, dusty hell so it can be less “old and cramped”), Sink Panda has become an issue. 

Sink panda is a stuffed panda who i have inexplicably placed underneath or in the kitchen sink cabinet in each apartment i have lived in. And, now that i own a house, my house. he has a Rennselaer t-shirt on. i believe he is from my Uncle David out in CA, since i think he attended college there. Uncle David, not Sink Panda. Sink panda has a glow in the dark M painted on his stomach in puff paint. i’m ninety percent sure i did that when i was a kid. He also has grown a small rust stain on his head, much to my dismay.

Anyway, we’re redoing our kitchen and thus the kitchen sink (in its entirety) was thrown unceremoniously out the back door last night. So i had to relocate Sink Panda. i know it probably seems pretty funny to you (my husband, of course, tolerates this), but he’s now located under the bathroom sink, with the scrubbin bubbles and a random array of “female products.” Sink Panda is now Bathroom Sink Panda, but like i told him, it’s not forever. And hopefully, neither is the itchiness on my back.